Huh. I just got that nerd joke!
Huh. I just got that nerd joke!
What are these called? Parabolas?
*Tells a long story about a political joke she told while we were studying Vietnam*
But that was only funny at the time, when we were learning about World War II.
What is this "Taft" word you keep saying?
"What am I going to do, win?" - Adison
"Third party candidates be like" - Gavin
A lake is a lazy ocean.
There is a CAKE. At my HOUSE.
Cars are weird, because they have windows.
Can you please put your gun away and tell me if you want onions?
"I'm still not on the website." - Harlee
"You gotta talk more." - Brittany
"No, I do not talk." - Harlee
What the heck is that?
Oh, it's a girl. It looked like a dinosaur. Or an ant.
Wake up. Drink coffee. Go to school. Go to work. Go to sleep. Wake up. Drink coffee. Go to school. Go to work. Go to sleep.
Why is it so hard to draw hair?! It looks like a skunk.
They're like, "I hate you mom." *breaks into the Charlston*
Hey, don't raise your voice at me.
It's a social experiment.
Oh, he's awake!
Okay, two things.
*asks about footnotes*
Second problem. I'm getting really angry.
Mr. E: "Bagel."
Kat: *starts crying*
I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster and everyone else has a seat belt. And I don't.
"It rose, it died, and rose again."
- Margie, without context
"...are you talking about Jesus?"
"What? No! I'm talking about spinach!"
Wait, who's that?
Oh, that's the bomb guy.
...we're going to need a bank to pay for my BACK SURGERY for carrying this debate!
As I, Alexander Hamilton, would say....
What's the word for deforestation... but like with people?
I'm eight. I don't know what's going on. Let me eat rocks.
I'm out of pickle juice, and it's a problem.
Why don't I have more quotes on your website? I'm the funniest person alive.
Brittany: "I'd give you a smartie, but I don't think that would help you."
Margie: "...what? I'm confused."
Brittany: *repeats the joke*
Margie: "I don't understand. Wait, can I have one, though?"
You speak like you're spaghetti.
We're planning on starting a NERF gun company called "Nerfurth." And every time a gun shoots, it goes, "Ugh."
...I've been making a lot of fires.
Mr. E: [gives good, sound advice]
...but it was too late to unscramble the omelette.
Alright, it's nerd time.
Put me on your website, #@$! it.
It's like a crab with guns.
[places raspberries on desk]
...for anyone willing to smell.
You Alaskans are fine, you're practically made of salmon.
The Credit Mobilier is like throwing your car battery in the ocean. It's fun, thrilling, safe, and legal.
Only two of those things are true.
I love bread!
You spilled my music.
Want to see a banana I turned into Elvis?
Simon dit morir.
Crap, no! My Scooby Snacks!
"You could live in here during a zombie apocalypse. There's a, uh - "
(points at futon, forgets word)
"Why would you want to be in a school during a zombie apocalypse?"
"...that's not a loofah."
I am the dominant ear.
I'm trying to figure out who the bald guy in the picture is.
Oh, it's John Adams.
Do I have a quote on the website yet?
Guess what? Kat's on the table again.
I have a huge bruise on my knee because I tripped on some Caesar salad at work.
When did people become a feature?!
"Those are the wheels, Grace." - Taylor
"I know what wheels are for!" - Grace
That's an old peanut. How do you spell peanut?
How to pass APUSH:
1. Open book.
That's like saying the neighbors take care of their lawn but I'm tired of them stealing my children.
"How was your break?" - Mr. E
"I made a smoothie out of ibuprofen."
My dad found an ad online and now we have a freezer full of dead rats.
And they grew tobacco, which was not gold.
Sucks to be a meme lord.
I forgot my meatballs!
That's 2000 IQ!
Wait, so orange is a color, a fruit, and a place?!
...everyone's favorite pastime.
"Do you know what's going on around the world?"
"Around the world? NOPE!"
A sprightly Quaker!
AP cannot exist in a world of light.